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David Malament's avatar

I love how in the opening paragraph the people who pay dearly for the Wilson’s parenting “mistake” are not the parents but the children 🤦🏻‍♂️

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Beth Ann Ragle's avatar

Sadly, yes.

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

So heart-breaking.

Imagine how confusing and frightening this would be to a young child as well. Just awful.

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Michelle Rowley's avatar

So articulate, well thought out and spot on. Thank you!

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

Thanks for reading!!!

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Angela Conley's avatar

Wow, that was a statement. Thanks.

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

Thank you for reading!

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Emily A Banks's avatar

Very powerful stuff. I'm both incredibly eager and more than a little nervous for your book: I will see much of my upbringing reflected, but this time with a different lens.

Also "gaslighty" yes. Excellent. I approve.

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Bethany's avatar

So much to think about here! I’ll have to come back to this one.

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Elizabeth Berget's avatar

Yes and amen. There is so much wisdom in your perspective here. Thank you for helping me name some of my own thoughts.

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

You are very welcome. Thank you for reading!

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Taylor Norris's avatar

Well done, Marissa.

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

Thank you for reading!

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Jemima Reeve Burns's avatar

This was such a good evaluation of this topic. The sad thing is that all the 'Christian' parenting advice leaning this way pushes whole families away from the gospel - either because abused children rebel, or because parents see the red flags and turn and run from this version of Christianity. We need to do a better job of providing evidence based, nurturing, empathetic parenting material from a Christian perspective. The 'in' is so easy, too. Why do you think God made babies so communicative, and mothers so keen to respond? Because He wants them to! And that's it, that's the concept. Hopeful that this generation can change the tide on this topic and reclaim the next generation for nurturing, Christ-centred care.

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

Great points. Yes! We can find a different way forward!

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Beth Ann Ragle's avatar

Thank you for your exhaustive research and empathetic insights.

I am deeply concerned… what has our Christian Nationalist Family culture done to this nation’s children-its innocent victims of abuse-and also for the large majority of innocent immigrants?

Why did we unwisely establish our parenting skills and as a result, our country’s leadership skills, with such a poor representation of our Lord Jesus’ modeling of “Love Thy Mother and Father” and Love thy Neighbor“ on earth?

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Marissa Franks Burt's avatar

Such good questions! It's a bitter harvest and I fear there will be long-reaching implications for generations.

And perhaps the roots go far back into America's history.

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Clint Redwood's avatar

“instant cheerful compliance in all things”

This is a really good description of the fawn trauma response.

Let’s be clear. This is intentional traumatisation of children for the sake of adult convenience. See also Childism by Elizabeth Young-Bruehl.

My guess is the reason Bessel Van Der Kolk couldn’t get developmental trauma (C-PTSD) into the DSM-V is that it would have made the US insurance companies liable for the therapy of vast swathes of the population for the trauma intentionally or unintentionally inflicted in the name of a “normal upbringing”.

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