I'm the oldest daughter of 10 children, and I spent much of my teen years raising my younger siblings. On top of all the laundry, my school work - homeschooled - and working... because working taught responsibility. I remember trying to do geography one time, and just sobbing because I was supposed to do it for a certain amount of time, but my head hurt.so.bad. I started getting migraines at 11 and I've had one every day since, no relief. It took a long time before the doctors believed my pain. I can remember other times of just sobbing in pain, but there was no one to help. I got my wisdom teeth out at 16; three days later I worked a 10hr day. I could run the house by myself at 15, and frequently did. Everybody praised me with no one stopping to ask why I had to. I also had undiagnosed Type II bipolar, but god forbid I get angry, and show emotion. god forbid I didn't obey completely and respectfully.
I believe you. The weight that so many daughters are expected to carry is heart-breaking. The teachers who promote these ideologies as "God's Way" do not talk about the way that the children will be used to subsidize the parent's idealized lifestyle. There are so many complicated layers involved, especially given sibling bonds, too. ❤️🩹
Amazing post @AbbieNye @Marissa! True biblical submission, contrary to its distorted interpretation, is not about crushing or silencing others; it is a profound expression of love, mutual care, and the utmost respect for the dignity of every individual, particularly the vulnerable.
Children are not disposable entities nor are they mere surrogates for their parents. Asking daughters to shoulder the emotional, educational, and physical responsibilities of their siblings is not merely unfair; it does constitutes exploitation. Scripture mandates parents to nurture, guide, and protect their children, not to delegate their responsibilities to them.
Horrifying spiritual abuse. I remember the silent rebuke of a Bible teacher when I said I was done having children after my two daughters because I had personal goals I planned to pursue. I had never encountered his kind of thinking before, and it disturbed me. Children need to be children and women need to be free to make their own life choices. I am so sorry you lost your childhood under this oppressive teaching.
Well, this was a harrowing read. As a mom of a large family (nine children) but firmly NOT affiliated with the quiverfull ideology, I am appalled…I can’t imagine asking any of my children to wake up in the night to soothe a crying sibling! I recently shocked someone by telling them I don’t have my older children change diaper. Why on earth would I? There’s asking your children to contribute to the household, to build competence and confidence, and then there’s pawning off your own responsibilities…what for? What good can it possibly serve? I think you are absolutely right in the assessment that treating children as “arrows” ultimately dehumanizes them. It is heartbreaking.
I'm the oldest daughter of 10 children, and I spent much of my teen years raising my younger siblings. On top of all the laundry, my school work - homeschooled - and working... because working taught responsibility. I remember trying to do geography one time, and just sobbing because I was supposed to do it for a certain amount of time, but my head hurt.so.bad. I started getting migraines at 11 and I've had one every day since, no relief. It took a long time before the doctors believed my pain. I can remember other times of just sobbing in pain, but there was no one to help. I got my wisdom teeth out at 16; three days later I worked a 10hr day. I could run the house by myself at 15, and frequently did. Everybody praised me with no one stopping to ask why I had to. I also had undiagnosed Type II bipolar, but god forbid I get angry, and show emotion. god forbid I didn't obey completely and respectfully.
I believe you. The weight that so many daughters are expected to carry is heart-breaking. The teachers who promote these ideologies as "God's Way" do not talk about the way that the children will be used to subsidize the parent's idealized lifestyle. There are so many complicated layers involved, especially given sibling bonds, too. ❤️🩹
Amazing post @AbbieNye @Marissa! True biblical submission, contrary to its distorted interpretation, is not about crushing or silencing others; it is a profound expression of love, mutual care, and the utmost respect for the dignity of every individual, particularly the vulnerable.
Children are not disposable entities nor are they mere surrogates for their parents. Asking daughters to shoulder the emotional, educational, and physical responsibilities of their siblings is not merely unfair; it does constitutes exploitation. Scripture mandates parents to nurture, guide, and protect their children, not to delegate their responsibilities to them.
Thank you for reading, Branon!
Horrifying spiritual abuse. I remember the silent rebuke of a Bible teacher when I said I was done having children after my two daughters because I had personal goals I planned to pursue. I had never encountered his kind of thinking before, and it disturbed me. Children need to be children and women need to be free to make their own life choices. I am so sorry you lost your childhood under this oppressive teaching.
Well, this was a harrowing read. As a mom of a large family (nine children) but firmly NOT affiliated with the quiverfull ideology, I am appalled…I can’t imagine asking any of my children to wake up in the night to soothe a crying sibling! I recently shocked someone by telling them I don’t have my older children change diaper. Why on earth would I? There’s asking your children to contribute to the household, to build competence and confidence, and then there’s pawning off your own responsibilities…what for? What good can it possibly serve? I think you are absolutely right in the assessment that treating children as “arrows” ultimately dehumanizes them. It is heartbreaking.
Disgusting treatment of children/daughters. Religion, in all its forms seems to be abusive.
As a fellow oldest daughter (of only four), I resonated so much with this. I was also considered mother #2. We are so tired. You are seen ❤️.