This whole article was 🔥! I love your heart for moms, dad's, and their children to truly know God, the God who loves us so much that he came to dwell with us and in us. The project you're doing is so needed; I've seen that for a while as God has been renewing my own mind and teaching more about who he is. I've seen the ubiquitous nature of a nouthetic-counseling-hyperfixation-on-sin mentality throughout so much Christian literature and in so much of evangelical culture as a whole. I've seen the devastating results it has on the most vulnerable, as heavy burdens are laid upon them, teaching them that they need to follow more and more behavior based rules. I don't remember the specific examples you shared from SACH, as it has been years since I read it. But it makes me sad that one of my older children still struggles with religious scrupulosity, perhaps in part due to their natural personality, but certainly not helped by my belief in some of these ideas that every childish bit of mischief was due to their sin and rebellion. Thank you for your work. I sincerely hope it will help many parents avoid the same mistakes, and that many individuals will more fully understand the heart of our God.
Marissa, you are definitely on to something. And while I am unsure of some of the vocabulary you used (I'm no theologian here :-) I'm grateful you're writing this book. Those of us who raised our kids in the late 80's and on have had a lot of re calibrating to do courtesy of other, ahem, less than biblical parenting nonsense. Wish my peers and I had had clearer heads like yours about us at the time...
The last several years I've been keenly aware of just how much of the Bible we have added to, compared to the words Jesus actually said and the Scripture that has been glossed over and/or ignored to serve selfish purposes.
So delightful to see your name here, Jody! Thank you for reading! And, yes! It's the families that are left reckoning with the fallout when various promises betrayed them. It's a lot to reckon with but I do think people in every generation have been doing this work to re-evaluate and attempt repair.
I’m new to substack and stumbled upon your article. It is both heartbreaking and healing. I’m part of the generation raised on this material and unfortunately I used much of it (first time obedience, seeing behaviors as sin issues not trauma or development issues) with the Foster Children I used to work with in my early 20’s. I wish I could go back and say “I’m so sorry.” I have come to the conclusion that often Christian parents forget their children are human. Instead children in this framework are seen as problems to be managed.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Yes! I pay a lot of attention to how children are depicted in these books - on the cover, in the anecdotes, etc. - so often it’s as extensions of parents (arrows etc) or threats. Plus the teaching often comes with parents being told “you are agents of God” and a dehumanization of children. Add into this expectations for obedience and corporal punishment as the primary tool and it enables so much harm. 💔for the children and also for what it reveals about our perspective of what God is like - that He sees us that way.
I’ve never read this book, but it’s been all over the place as I’ve participated in churches the past 2 decades. And something about it has always sat wrong with me. Thank you for unpacking part of the problem! No doubt there’s more problematic material that could be unpacked in Tripp’s influential book.
And thank you for posting the page from The Adventure Bible. My 5 year old is getting to the age where we need to transition her to more of a Bible than just the picture book ones. I will now know to look at and evaluate any sidebars in the children’s Bible first!
Yes, for sure! The NIV is obviously a reliable translation, but those study notes - phew!
I finished the deep dive on Tripp's book not long ago and am still astonished that this book is so popular and still circulating so widely! I, too, had heard about it but never read it until this project. I sort of had in mind it was "gentler" somehow. It really isn't at all. Problematic on multiple levels.
I know I'm late to this. I came here from your most recent post. Have you read Paul Tripp's "Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family"?
As I read the first half of the book, I found myself liking it pretty well, agreeing with a lot of things (although being annoyed by an occasional line here and there), and wishing my parents had had that book instead of ones like SACH and Dobson. But then getting into the second half of the book, several of the example stories really, really bothered me (one was so bad I'm still having a hard time believing it was in that book). And reading this article, I can see so many similarities, even though on the surface the two books appear quite different. The negativity about humanity, diagnosing "heart problems" in children without any understanding of normal child development, the emphasis on idolatry in several chapters, all the same "unnamed stowaway doctrines". Some parts of it do feel much more grace-filled than the typical Christian parenting manual, but then other parts reveal the underlying similarities. Almost no one seems to have anything negative to say about the book though (apart from some 1-star Amazon reviews). I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have read it.
This whole article was 🔥! I love your heart for moms, dad's, and their children to truly know God, the God who loves us so much that he came to dwell with us and in us. The project you're doing is so needed; I've seen that for a while as God has been renewing my own mind and teaching more about who he is. I've seen the ubiquitous nature of a nouthetic-counseling-hyperfixation-on-sin mentality throughout so much Christian literature and in so much of evangelical culture as a whole. I've seen the devastating results it has on the most vulnerable, as heavy burdens are laid upon them, teaching them that they need to follow more and more behavior based rules. I don't remember the specific examples you shared from SACH, as it has been years since I read it. But it makes me sad that one of my older children still struggles with religious scrupulosity, perhaps in part due to their natural personality, but certainly not helped by my belief in some of these ideas that every childish bit of mischief was due to their sin and rebellion. Thank you for your work. I sincerely hope it will help many parents avoid the same mistakes, and that many individuals will more fully understand the heart of our God.
Thank you for these kind word and for reading, Mary Ellen! Yes to all of this. This is our hope as well - that people will be freed up.
Marissa, you are definitely on to something. And while I am unsure of some of the vocabulary you used (I'm no theologian here :-) I'm grateful you're writing this book. Those of us who raised our kids in the late 80's and on have had a lot of re calibrating to do courtesy of other, ahem, less than biblical parenting nonsense. Wish my peers and I had had clearer heads like yours about us at the time...
The last several years I've been keenly aware of just how much of the Bible we have added to, compared to the words Jesus actually said and the Scripture that has been glossed over and/or ignored to serve selfish purposes.
Lord have mercy.
So delightful to see your name here, Jody! Thank you for reading! And, yes! It's the families that are left reckoning with the fallout when various promises betrayed them. It's a lot to reckon with but I do think people in every generation have been doing this work to re-evaluate and attempt repair.
"doing the work to re-evaluate and attempt repair." Yes, I see it happening, too.
I'm so glad yours is one of the voices, Marissa!
Marissa,
I’m new to substack and stumbled upon your article. It is both heartbreaking and healing. I’m part of the generation raised on this material and unfortunately I used much of it (first time obedience, seeing behaviors as sin issues not trauma or development issues) with the Foster Children I used to work with in my early 20’s. I wish I could go back and say “I’m so sorry.” I have come to the conclusion that often Christian parents forget their children are human. Instead children in this framework are seen as problems to be managed.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Yes! I pay a lot of attention to how children are depicted in these books - on the cover, in the anecdotes, etc. - so often it’s as extensions of parents (arrows etc) or threats. Plus the teaching often comes with parents being told “you are agents of God” and a dehumanization of children. Add into this expectations for obedience and corporal punishment as the primary tool and it enables so much harm. 💔for the children and also for what it reveals about our perspective of what God is like - that He sees us that way.
I’ve never read this book, but it’s been all over the place as I’ve participated in churches the past 2 decades. And something about it has always sat wrong with me. Thank you for unpacking part of the problem! No doubt there’s more problematic material that could be unpacked in Tripp’s influential book.
And thank you for posting the page from The Adventure Bible. My 5 year old is getting to the age where we need to transition her to more of a Bible than just the picture book ones. I will now know to look at and evaluate any sidebars in the children’s Bible first!
Yes, for sure! The NIV is obviously a reliable translation, but those study notes - phew!
I finished the deep dive on Tripp's book not long ago and am still astonished that this book is so popular and still circulating so widely! I, too, had heard about it but never read it until this project. I sort of had in mind it was "gentler" somehow. It really isn't at all. Problematic on multiple levels.
Marissa, you’ve given us so much to ponder here. Thank you!
You are so very welcome. Thank you for reading, Aprile!
I know I'm late to this. I came here from your most recent post. Have you read Paul Tripp's "Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family"?
As I read the first half of the book, I found myself liking it pretty well, agreeing with a lot of things (although being annoyed by an occasional line here and there), and wishing my parents had had that book instead of ones like SACH and Dobson. But then getting into the second half of the book, several of the example stories really, really bothered me (one was so bad I'm still having a hard time believing it was in that book). And reading this article, I can see so many similarities, even though on the surface the two books appear quite different. The negativity about humanity, diagnosing "heart problems" in children without any understanding of normal child development, the emphasis on idolatry in several chapters, all the same "unnamed stowaway doctrines". Some parts of it do feel much more grace-filled than the typical Christian parenting manual, but then other parts reveal the underlying similarities. Almost no one seems to have anything negative to say about the book though (apart from some 1-star Amazon reviews). I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have read it.